A special day

Its amazing what having a kid does to your perception of time.
I lose track of days. I cant remember if its Tuesday or Saturday because when you're a mom, there really isn't a weekend, and 8:30 at night feels like 11:00.

Over the last 6 months, there were days that felt like we've had him for years, because it feels like we've always known him. But then there are times when I look back and 6 months feels like its only been days, and I cry knowing I will never get those moments back.
The first time I met him and they laid him on my chest in the hospital. The first time I saw the hubs hold him in his arms. The first smile. The first laugh. The first time we stood in his room and watched him sleep. The first time he looked at me and I could tell he knew I was mom, I was someone significant to him, even though he didn't know why.

 He's my first baby. My first son. I will never have a first again.

I'll never get those moments back. They are gone, forever etched in my memory

 (along with thousands of pictures saved on my computer)

 

These last 6 months have been the best of my life. I know that when I think about them, or see pictures, I will always have a kind of ache in my heart, knowing they are behind me, but at the same time, my heart will smile at the thought of every moment.
A contradiction in emotions, that's what being a parent is. You can feel more joy, fear, excitement and sadness than you've ever felt, all in one single moment.
This can make for a very intense and exhausting 60 seconds.  

 

I say a prayer over my son every night before I go to bed. I pray that God would help us to raise a strong man. A man that will love, serve and fear Him.

I want to honor God in how we raise our son. God gave us this gift. He is trusting us, and allowing us to take care of His son while he is on this earth. We have dedicated ourselves to raising him in the way that God would have us raise him.
 

Our world is in such great need of strong men and women who will stand for God.

My prayer is that Brody will be one of those men. One who will change the world around him, who will leave a mark wherever he goes, who will have the strength and wisdom to set his standards higher.

 

I have loved every heart warming, heart melting, heart breaking moment of the last 6 months. I am excited and terrified of the love that seems to continue to grow for my son. I know there are so many moments, so many memories ahead of us still.

 

I love you Brody Ray Lowder. 

You are my sunshine. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Happy half birthday, B!

 

Love, mom.